Shades of personality..

Its been a long time I visited my scratch pad..may be I let myself have reasons or may be I did really have some..Inanycase, the quiver of thoughts had been ever swamped. This time I was almost certain I would pen down at the first available slot..So here I seat the time with me, to avoid it running out while I word the experience…

After a good talky-talky session yesterday between gang of girls J , I walked back home with even more thoughts than I had heard or spilled. It amazed me that all of us had so many things to send across and this night gave us a wonderful platform for doing the same.

It was a friend’s birthday party, after which it was decided to stay overnight n have some fun. With 3 Moms comes a good package. And each of us knew how exactly to handle it.Aki, being the youngest, slept early, more for the fact he is now in mode of sleeping early.
The other two kids( Reet n Vivan) were more like self indulgent, so didn’t need much of mamma’s intervention. While some of them were drawn to pack of cards, the chatty ladies snuggled close. There were few lingering thoughts in some of our minds, and others budded from that. So we some how sprang on the personality, self-identity, motherhood and career kind of topics. Yeah, we didn’t indulge much into gossip or MIL talks, may be we found this more inviting than the beaten ones..

We all agree self-identity is alter ego for existence, although our measure and yardsticks vary. I would not fall short of admitting, that working women have easy path here. They get benefit of mere working, to set their identify. And most of the people around do see that as only thing which makes identity for women. For women who are home-makers (wouldn’t call house wives as we all are house wives :J ) have a tougher route to not only set but maintain their identity and very few, that I know of are able to do this job well. More often than not, giving into pressing demands from all sides, being docile and trying to keep every one happy, swipes you away from your own thoughts, your inputs into situations and over a time, the boundaries begin to fade. And there are times, when most of us get up one day in horror of ‘I have lost my individuality’, or ‘I have become assumed’. SO where is that drawing line? Is revolting the way for establishing identity, is it at the cost of happy family with not having independent identiy? Each of us ofcourse had different situations back home, and different aproaches..bt the question kept lurking.. How important the independent self-identity may be to one person, and how insignificant it might be to other person..

Some where in the midst of tempest, we hit the yet another well debated, working women kids ,topic. It was good to see that few of us had stands ,strong enough, on the topic, and equally good justifications. While it does make perfect sense for one to stay back home, enjoy and nurture the kid, and the kid is ready for school, work on their career ambitions. To others, their approach of handling work, baby n home was best, where they spend god quality time with kid and did justices to their career for which they all the money n educational efforts. The viewpoints on this topic were poles apart, but we conceded on the fact the kid comes first. If you had to work at cost of your baby, being picked by friends, spending time waiting for mom in different houses, then it is not worth the effort or growth. Although, your kid going to professional day care, getting the huge exposure, learning things with other kids and finding mom available once he is done, is the best I guess a kid can get.
I am sure each of us still in heart of hearts feel, mine is the best way to do it in my situation..and that possibly is true also..this was particularly good as it did really help understand who really thinks what, and how justified you might look to her ..I do not like borrowing someone else’s impression, nor do I appreciate those who do that. And a good number of people, do love to borrow someone else’s impression of a person, cling to it, and would never give a chance to the person to show if its true or not. That is the person cares to..

If it weren’t the dawn, we would have probably explored many other topics. Knowing more about how one thinks and how you can afford to have different routes n yet appreciate the others..The last I remember I had such talks was before my marriage at my room, with my friends. we 3 roommates and other friends and ended up greeting the morning light without a nap…but that did tell a lot about individuals and then you can relate and predict to some extent how a person would think, how far and what kind of reaction he/she would actually have..stated or not..