Shift in satisfaction - Impending revolution

On my flight, I couldn’t help but notice a kid playing on a phone, an easy distraction that gives some peace and quiet to the long-drawn parents! How easily, in such small a period of time, has the luxury become so insignificant a necessity!

This is a precarious circle of ‘WANT’.  When a new service or a product is launched, like the cordless or mobile, just the mere ability to get hold of one, makes the customers ‘ecstatic’. The more the players that jump in the market for the product, the harder it is to maintain ‘ecstatic’ customer experience.

 The ‘WANT’ quickly transitions to a basic ‘expectation’. The features and applications that one provided, over the other, became the new ‘WANT’. That over the time transitioned to the ‘WANT’ for a megapixel camera to reverse camera to Smart app creation tools and so on... The ‘Want for an ecstatic customer’ still eludes all industries.

So, what does this mean for services or product support?  What is customer satisfaction? Is there one yard-stick to measure it? Is this even a constant?

With an exposure to a wide customer base now and prior, I have seen and heard customers applauding at times and fuming at others, for the support they receive, be it product or services support. Efforts to fix the ‘damage’ or keep-up the effort are closely flowed by the management.

While this does work, in the short term, but is this a sustainable satisfaction?

Well, some of the companies could stay afloat with just this, partly due to their first-mover advantage (AWS) or because they are a big shark in the ocean or they are cross-selling their products, which binds their customers.

Where it fails to yield, is for the companies that are emerging or budding, or deal with a service that is too readily available in the market. These measures can not lead to 'sustained' satisfaction. The companies need to create a differentiator for themselves. A differentiator in their support!

IMO, they need to look beyond their everyday operations, their survey responses; and invest in ideas and actions that set them apart from their competitors. This does not mean they should no more care about these measures. It just means customers have grown ‘immune’ to this. This is no more an ‘X-factor’ but has become a minimal expectation which you ought to deliver.

But, how do they create a differentiator? What is that edge that they can provide? And would that be worth the ROI?

This, I believe, is the trickiest call for any service provider now.

So, here’s a little parallel.

There was a grocer around the corner. It had barely been a few months when a popular, established grocery store opened right in its vicinity. The grocer, given his capacity, could not compete with the range and the choices provided by the store.  Since his livelihood depended on his store, he didn’t want to give-up, not just yet. He needed to create this ‘differentiator’ to stay in the market.

So, he reinvented himself. He was a keen observer and very sociable. He knew people had often come looking for things that belonged together, for their recipes or based on their needs.  

So he made a small change –

He sold the same stuff but pre-arranged them in boxes, grouping them by the recipes, by the frequency, by ‘neighbourhood’.  He labelled the recipes and placed the boxes under them. It needed him to look beyond traditional ‘grocery store’ ways, invest more time in and may be investing to hire a help.

Result? People who had no time to look around and gather the items (working folks or senior citizens), loved it. The newbies who had no idea what ingredients go in a given recipe, loved it. He had created a ‘differentiator’ for himself. He gave an incentive for people to choose him, for the same cost!!

What was the most important thing he had, beyond his keen observation and necessity? It was the fact that  ‘He knew what his Customer’s need too well’.

I could not have been a bigger fan of  AI than I am today. There is an abundance of data that companies have, with respect to their customers. There is so much they can do to set themselves apart, so much to play around with when you have eyes beyond the day-to-day operations.

So, there isn’t one yard-stick, as a matter of fact, there isn’t one height to compare. The ‘want’ grows exponentially and the only way to not sink would be to ride the wave, continually. It’s a precarious circle of ‘WANT’!

tu himmat tow kar, desh mere

हाथों को जोड़े बैठें है बाबूजी ,
राजाजी के दरबार मे ...
करने  शिकायत छोटे की जिसने ,
है कलह मचाई घरबार में ...

देखो तुम हो बड़े यहाँ पे,
राजाजी समझाते हैं।
ऐसे छोटी बातों पे क्या,
रिश्ते तोड़े जाते हैं?

अम्मा की बातों को बाबूजी ,
अकसर अनसुनी करजाते हैं।
तुम हो जनता सी भोली बहुत,
ये कह के बहलाते हैं।

राजाजी को हम  हैं प्रिय  बहुत ,
 इसलिए हमको ही समझाएं गे।
वादा  किया है मुझे से
पंचायत मैं ,परमानेंट सीट दिलाएं गे।

पर राजाजी को है परेशानी क्या ,
अमा झीक कर  रह जाती है।
"अपनी बारी मैं उनको ,
क्यों गीता- ज्ञान याद नहीं आती है?

जब छोटे का लड़का   उनकी ,
लड़की को ले भागा था।
छुप बैठा था जाकर ट्विन टावर  में,
 तब कैसा प्रलय जागा था?

राजाजी ने अन्न जल त्याग
भीष्म प्रतिज्ञा ले डाली थी।
जवाला सी बरसी थी   चहूं  और ,
 नगरी मरुस्थल बना डाली थी।

दो दिन मैं ढूंढ निकाले   ,
छोटे के नालायक लड़के थे।
क्षण मैं अलग कर डाले 
सर से उनके  धड़ थे। 
 
पर अब जब बात, हमारी
मरियादा की दावँ पर आयी है।
तो उनको प्रेम शांति  भाई चारे की
 बातें याद सब आयी हैं। .


 चुप्पी के दिन बीतगये ,
कहतें हैं दिन अछे आये हैं।
तुमको हक़  दिलवाने को ,
मुंषी मोदी गाँव में आये हैं।

 श्री राम को भी तीन दिवस तक ,
जब सागर ने न पूछा  था,
जब छोड़ प्रेम प्यार  वो पौरुष पर आये ,
 तब उसको दास बनने का सूझा था। "

अम्मा की बातों को बाबूजी ,
अकसर अनसुनी करजाते हैं।
तुम हो जनता सी भोली बहुत,
ये कह के बहलाते हैं।

 ना जाने किस डर से, बाबूजी घबराते हैं,
राजाजी के  आधे दरबारी  , उनके घर से ही जाते हैं। 

Not just yet..

Gently he holds her hand,
to feel the dying pulse..
with every miss of it
a part of him dies within..

How selfishly she travels away
whilst promising the eternal company..
for he can see no more of the road
without the glowing flame of her heart herewith..

her radiance so unfailed by the cruelty of time,
her smile so deep on the shallowness of life..
She blinks to concede the love he has
for the words fail her to match the longing of his eyes..

How assuredly he had embraced her once,
winning a battle against the dears..
How willing she had led him
to believe she would do, but as he desires..

he desired not for her to quit
and quitting he wouldnt grant her,
for she would do but he desires
was a promise made, away from the prying ears..

He reminds her of the duties
she has yet to fulfill..
the mess of the house, the missing things
the visit of kids that call her granny..

A Sudden panic rises in her spine
a force jolts her wrecking frame,
She breathes a breath deep and strong
is it her revival or her betrayal final.....

Sense and Sensibility -Jane Austen

A read  of Jane Austen ( particularly this book)   seems a bit  over bearing or even verbose to say a little :) . Her ability and desire to put expressions and inferences ,general opinion and belief , inside every single statement that the character makes, tries your patience at times.  With a generation , so short and hastily losing on the virtue of patience, this might not be a so hard-to-put down book.

And for someone fond and carved in ways of Jeffrey Archer, Dan Brown or even John Grisham ( by choice or habit) , picking this book seemed like a mistake . A mistake that I didn't intend to take beyond first chapter.
 I would like my read to be concentrating around the plot and characters and not on the length of a line that runs into a paragraph, Each time!! A line that is pregnant with more expressions than the message it wanted to deliver.

I loved the simplistic representation and effortless story-telling of 'Almost Single', which is not hugely distant from the category of this novel. That is ,I would say, a vacation time novel, to read.

But when you crave for a little more than just good story, read this. 'Sense and Sensibility' ,is more than just the story the novel narrates. Yes, I did pick up the book one more time, against myself though!

With every page I read, I saw the era she wrote about. An era which is difficult to relate to, not only in diction but also  in mannerism. I was more and more willing to give her the liberal benefit, for she was writing of a bygone time. Her words sounded and read differently , She would use chuse ( for choose),  handsome for the appearance of a lady ( I dare say we use that for men with caution too :) ) and handful non-existent usages.  English and society has come a long way since then. Courtesy and chivalry have new-found meanings, the pressing-necessity that she sees for them in a person, Am afraid, isn't easy to justify.

Her style of writing grows on you ,as you progress the story. And you would be amazed, without much exaggeration, to see yourself, under the influence of such usage, as shocking as it may seem to those familiar to you.( That was my attempt to her style :) but far shorter from her lengths)

There is an interesting amount of details on the locations, the setting are described in a delightful way ,it almost instantly creates a visual effect on the reader ,as if you were living the age and society of that time. The pace is almost stagnant at times, but there is no undertone she uses in depicting the mindset of society where the matter of money forces a change in matter of hearts and one finds no shame in accepting it. The characters like Miss  Jennings and Miss Lucy,  more or less sum up the expectations and priorities that society had for women back then. The Dashwood sisters ,though play a similar society, have a more relate-able this-day like sensibility.

 The story line is sweet and happily ever-after take away, but the something that I would keep from the novel is its depiction of the lost-world (almost ), when you want to cut out from the modern ways of world for some time, and  its beautiful expressions..like

"There is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions."

Its so very true ..

Sense and Sensibility -Jane Austen

A read  of Jane Austen ( particularly this book)   seems a bit  over bearing or even verbose to say a little :) . Her ability and desire to put expressions and inferences ,general opinion and belief , inside every single statement that the character makes, tries your patience at times.  With a generation , so short and hastily losing on the virtue of patience, this might not be a so hard-to-put down book.

And for someone fond and carved in ways of Jeffrey Archer, Dan Brown or even John Grisham ( by choice or habit) , picking this book seemed like a mistake . A mistake that I didn't intend to take beyond first chapter.
 I would like my read to be concentrating around the plot and characters and not on the length of a line that runs into a paragraph, Each time!! A line that is pregnant with more expressions than the message it wanted to deliver.

I loved the simplistic representation and effortless story-telling of 'Almost Single', which is not hugely distant from the category of this novel. That is ,I would say, a vacation time novel, to read.

But when you crave for a little more than just good story, read this. 'Sense and Sensibility' ,is more than just the story the novel narrates. Yes, I did pick up the book one more time, against myself though!

With every page I read, I saw the era she wrote about. An era which is difficult to relate to, not only in diction but also  in mannerism. I was more and more willing to give her the liberal benefit, for she was writing of a bygone time. Her words sounded and read differently , She would use chuse ( for choose),  handsome for the appearance of a lady ( I dare say we use that for men with caution too :) ) and handful non-existent usages.  English and society has come a long way since then. Courtesy and chivalry have new-found meanings, the pressing-necessity that she sees for them in a person, Am afraid, isn't easy to justify.

Her style of writing grows on you ,as you progress the story. And you would be amazed, without much exaggeration, to see yourself, under the influence of such usage, as shocking as it may seem to those familiar to you.( That was my attempt to her style :) but far shorter from her lengths)

There is an interesting amount of details on the locations, the setting are described in a delightful way ,it almost instantly creates a visual effect on the reader ,as if you were living the age and society of that time. The pace is almost stagnant at times, but there is no undertone she uses in depicting the mindset of society where the matter of money forces a change in matter of hearts and one finds no shame in accepting it. The characters like Miss  Jennings and Miss Lucy,  more or less sum up the expectations and priorities that society had for women back then. The Dashwood sisters ,though play a similar society, have a more relate-able this-day like sensibility.

 The story line is sweet and happily ever-after take away, but the something that I would keep from the novel is its depiction of the lost-world (almost ), when you want to cut out from the modern ways of world for some time, and  its beautiful expressions..like

"There is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions."

Its so very true ..

2B or !2B ...to be or not to be..

Charter my way
fix my path
mark the road that leads to it,
but to follow or not..leave it to me


I wander or falter
fail or flourish
I may rise not like phoenix
but to make the choice..leave it to me


Tiny little wings of mine
that are barely to size
wish them ,teach them inspire them to fly
but fly to where...... leave it to me


beautiful are the strands
of the golden gate
that promises pleasure to one who resides,
but to 2B or !2B ... leave it to me...

When the life drifts away..

Like fine and smooth grains of sands
It slips through my fingers
I panic in a fear of losing it all
my grip gets stronger,my muscles strained
little do they know,
their ardent desire to hold it back
makes it slip so much faster..

I wonder,as I look through its parched lips
If there were more moisture
falling from the heart of sky or man
they could bind the grains together..


 But if skies were to shower warmth
 then those on streets would be coziest..
 One has to toil to find one's chalice,
and I fear I had found one...

We vowed  and promised and kissed n sealed
together was all that eyes could see,
And in  blink of time

the fairy tale was on the climax,,

Something there is that isnt the same
something that doesnt give in any more

It can see the grains falling apart,
but refuses to water it any more..

 A part of my heart dies on realizing,
that those precious moments would soon be bygone,
the unsaid love in your eyes, the mute care that you have,
how wonderfully wonderful it felt, just your being ...


And then I gaze around,
over some of it ,thats still togehter
There is hope thats keeps them stuck,
the tiny shoots playing on its bossom
they save the grains from losing each other
they retain the moisture in them,,

The final TRUMP card..

Just to "Say as you see it" , how far can one take the joke!!


Yes its different , its fun, its a twist, makes you laugh.. its probably worth one-night-stand-up ..but are you serious , is this the one you want to live with?


Its amazing if people aren't already asking themselves these questions..is this really the Trump card they want to pin their hopes on? 


Yes, chivalry is far disappearing. Polite seems over-rated, but to mock your competitor by absurd sprout of genitals, and then cover it up as a dash of humor, have we really stooped so low!! The developed nation, or so was it seen so far, is so tolerant that it not only over-looks but continues to support such a candid, dignified person ,to still run for the race of highest responsibility..!! 


I re-live the adolescent days, when Robert Frost seemed to make all sense..


" there is something that doesn't love the walls,
that sends the frozen-ground-under it swell,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun"


How he mocks his neighbor, who lives in darkness, not only of woods and trees, to believe walls make good neighbours.. The neighbour ,we were told, was of primitive stone-age mind set..


And here's a candidate, from the progressive and developed society, not so much in agreement with Frost, who wants to unearth those demolished walls, build the walls of castles, alcoves in the wall in case the enemy strikes... We shall grow our own crop, sheer our own sheep and keep ourselves warm.. and stay inside our Walls!!
Its sure hilarious if we want to fall behind such a binary vision.


I would rather not delve into the appalling thoughts of the honorable man, on how and why the children and wives of wrong-doers should be dealt.


 If he orders them to be tortured,
tortured they should be..
if he orders them to be beheaded,
beheaded they should be..


For he is an honorable man,
We come to bury humanity,
and not speak for thee..


Different is always alluring, its intriguing but not always a good bet to opt for.. specially when the stakes are so high.

son-of-a-bitch

Jostling down the lanes,
criss-cross the busy morning roads.


I am on my way back home,
a triumphant moment after drop-offs.
Check-list runs in my mind,
one down ,many to go..


Time to switch the gears n mode,
office awaits with its own agenda.
The familiar faces and greets,
Hi and hellos, byes n see yous.


The signals ahead seem like a under spell,
many a heads turning, many a legs slowing.
A mixed ratio of both clans,
being held back by something I miss to see..


And then I reached the 'Chosen' signals,
oh yes,  it does turn the heads n  rein the legs,


It isn't easy to say
what was the reason..
the ravishing ,comfy, power-filled bike
or the one controlling it by the horns..


the signals go green,
he revs it up..
Or as my son would say,
he pumped up his pistons or
busted its boilers..


And in a blink,
it was bygone,
leaving many a envious
many a mused..
 
And then came a perfect expression,
in a perfectly right pitch,
A very impressed teen yelled,
What a son-of-a-bitch!!

Purple watch

She walked in with elegance

Confident and well groomed

Sat in a chair opposite to me

Carefully she places her
Smart blue purse, shiny and latest..Ted-baker
She reaches her mobile, streching her hand
And through the sleeves of her well ironed blouse
Shines the purple watch

Fastened steadily on her left wrist..
She takes a notice of my glance,

Smiles a smile almost addictive

I can’t help or move my sight
Her composed self, confident looks
Her perfect sense of style and elegance
Leaves me amazed and inspired

My gaze is cut short by a soft voice

Calling the lady by her name..
For its time for her to see the doc..

 She reaches for the chair's arm,

Picks up her shiny purse
Flashing her purple watch one more time..

With her legs failing her,

She holds on to the wall,
I reach out to grab her hand,
She respects my gesture for elderly,
But politely says' thank you dear, I am good'

This ripe age,

doesnt dampen her spirits,she lives
dignified,fashioned and poised..
I am amazed and inspired by her
Self-pride her confidence ..

To grow older is inevitable,
to live old is optional....!!!

Curiously Compelling Cambridge...

And yes..I'm back to my scratch pad.

I tend to slip into a trance, every now n then..A trance so strong that it bounces back any attempts of thoughts escaping out, pacifies any meek desire for expression, only till a time, when there comes an experience too strong to be withheld, too charged to be contained.. , that thought ruptures through the impermissible walls of my trance and spills on these pages.. and Cambridge was such an experience.

In the spirit of full disclosure, this wasn’t my first trip to Cambridge..I've been there,seen it all and must I admit, I was thrilled by what I saw. Inspite of all this, it never lingered around me for so long.There was something definitely different this time. Something that kept coming back to me, hinting subtly, hinting obviously, luring me to an extent of seduction, to let it out..

SO here it goes..

On my checklist were a few places, I wanted parents to visit..most of which were covered by now, and Cambridge was an On and Off plan.

On a not-so-fine , extremely foggy Saturday morning, we set off for Cambridge, to tick it off the list,before its wrap up time. It wasn’t till we actually reached Cambridge ,that the weather n spirits began to pick up. It was surprisingly sunny n warm !! (for those who live/have lived , in UK , can relate more to those 2 exclamations :) )

The timing of the trip was perfect. The city is known for its greenery n parks, great gardens and what better time to visit it than Fall!!

The park, where we bid byes to our car,was massive, to say the least. On one side the river tried to outrun it, and on the other was a row of trees..with a passage wide enough for 6-8 walk hand in hand..The passage turned aisle, was covered by leaves of all shades..every stage of transition ..green ,lemon yellow, bright yellow, brown, some red...this carpet was far more sensual than the ladies on the red carpet!!

The passage well defined by the lane of trees on either side , uniformly spaced, directing and guiding you the right way... and all just holding on to the end of their leaves..for just a little longer..

The sun n spirit ,neither could resist the view..they shown in their full bloom.. For the visitors this was a treat..but along the river were the benches, occupied by couples..mature n juvenile.. the place wasn’t just momentary beauty,it had forced many on the benches to revisit, to make explicit time and enjoy its beauty..that wasn’t just skin deep.

We could have easily spent the day there, if only there wasn’t more to the place...So we walked along the river Cam, which runs through the city, and reached our next destination.

Now on the agenda was a must-have punting tour of River Cam. It wouldn’t be stretch to say, mark my words, that it would take you back to the experience of Venice..Not only the Gondola ride parallel but also the charm of the small town, buzzing youth and always alive surroundings.

While waiting for our Punt, we stroll around the area, marched to the one-of-the-many bridges that are across the river. The punting tours crossing us right from under that bridge, their elated faces, surprised eyes from those fiction n fact smoothie the guide poured them...trying hard n failing, to capture everything in their glance..

And we were more or less is same awe when it came to our turn. Relaxed, amazed, strangely curious, as if he would pull a bunny out of his hat!! May be the familiarity of the place offered me more comfort..but the excitement of the kids was rubbing on everyone .. And neither kids nor grownups could resist the try on punting offer :)

The guide fed his smoothie of fiction n fact and everyone sipped it in delight, the supposedly newton's matematical bridge, nasty n fun stories of papmperd princes graduating from here,the original sewage system that opened in the river,in those days ..n many many more :) . He kept us both entertained and intrigued :)

The colleges on the bank of the river were fascinating..each with its majestic building, lush green ground an d ivies climbing n covering the wall..Painting in fall colors, mostly red..It was a very noisy tour that left many speechless..

Interestingly, the area provides almost every cuisine, if you are a fussy eater or particular about diet one too, you would find something matching you appetite..

After a yummy -filling break, back on feet and we head right for the colleges..to take a sneak peek into those renowned building that sharpen the ever buzzing brains.. The enormous doors of almost all colleges, heavy n visibly well crafted, seemed to challenge those who are worthy enough to push them n enter. Strangely it was devoid of any student movement, although this was the students hostel, mess and library area.. but its a weekend..So it’s not all work n no play.. or may be more of play than work :)

On the streets of that tiny town were a mixed population of students.. mostly Asians though..how much that says about our priorities and upbringing.. Anyhow..

We were racing against the sun..there was so much to see and so little of the day was left... We barely made it to 4 colleges.. and it was beginning to fade away...

The famous Corpus Clock, always packed with visitors, trying to get one click with that giant insect
pushing the time around, was another must have pic, for a bollywood group, more so after the release of  PAA :)
The city lights up in the evening..with some very interesting unique shops.. bright paths and narrow and lit streets..

There is so much more that the city has, to offer and everytime it does, it would leave you with a sense of fulfillment and longing at the same time.. wonder which of these was pushing the walls of trance!!

                                   

Being Parent..

This post might sound multiple things to multiple people and that heavily would be influenced by what stage of life they are at when they are reading this..so 'to-each-his-own'..after all parenting is a very 'my-way my-kid' thing..

There are days which are real busy, if not tough, at work or at home.. and you could really use a few hours of 'my time' but then the clock strikes to tell you how late you are running already to pick your child..The frown switches to smile and energy pumps in and you gear in for the next marathon..

 Lovely walk back home, snacking and home-work,bathing and dinner ..and finally off to bed.. and what a drastic fall in energy level once the child hits the bed..its a wonder..

greater wonder is when he calls you in night, and you jump right out of your bed, no lag no fatigue..to attend to him.. you lull him to sleep and repeat the same if he calls again.. Now cudnt help compare this to times when anyone else disturbed you after a long day sleep..specially in your days of bachelorhood..that disturbance would sure cost them a week of similar torture:)

 But all aside, you wakeup like a zombie..gather yourself up. and back with the strong smile n energy..wake up you dear one n go about the day.. Pretty much each day for each parent ..
Although there are days when you feel you could run away from all this routine...take a breather..be all by yourself. ..not have to worry about million things to do...But you dont.. you cant make yourself do that...coz thats being a parent..and you LOVE to be zombie for him..as many time as need be..

 random ramblings..

Mom n son..wonders n surprises every day

Every day is so absorbing with his new findings n emotions that it gives me just enough time to sit back n smile on his innocence,his insatiable curiosity...but some days, like this one get lucky, and I sit to write about those lovely things..

I read Ayush his bed time story, as is the routine, a few days back.It was the Thumblina story.His curiosity wasn't at its peek and heavy eyelids making him drowsy.Its the little triumph moment every single night ,when i see I lulled him to sleep..

A couple of days later, in the middle of his car fights, he decided to add more to the flock. and went to his toy stacks, pulled trucks drawer,and after a few moment ran back to me kitchen...Mom, can I hold that doll, she is beautiful..

Well, he complementing a doll like this is new to me,so i smiled...and followed.. It was a Doll made of Shells,from Venice. 'Honey, thats very fragile' i tried to tell him..'But mom,i'll be careful,i am big boy,see..' And he uses his hand to show me ..that hand invariably crosses his head n almost to my elbow :)

Ok..we got that in living area and he kept it on the table,after admiring her shells n eyes..

In some time..'Mom, what shall we call her' - he asked
'Well', I said,' We cold call her Dolly or princess?'

'Mom, lets call her Thumblina, shall we?' said Ayush..

Hmm.. and I thought you drifted to sleep the other night..well ofcourse, thumblina it was.


That night, I read him Thomas n his adventures for bed time, one of his fav. characters.

He got up that night, i believe around 11 ish or so.. and sat in bed..
'Mom, where is thumblina?' he said

'In the living area betu, thats where u kept it,remember?' - said
'Mom ,please can we get her here, its very dark in living area'- he said

'Ayush, its just a doll..its not real,you know it'..plus I was too tired to get up n Ashish was out of station :(

'But mom she is alone, its not right to leave someone alone' - he said.

I could either get up n bring it, n back to bed.. or argue a little more, upset him and then we both stay awake for longer..SO i gave in.. got it and kept it on Chest of drawers.
'See mom, she likes it here' - he smiled n went bk to bed..

I was still awake for some time.. smiling and thinking how they link n learn things..Its one of the zillion wonders every mom sees in her growing kid..I just got some time to pen it..

Zindagi..

Har daur main ek kask
Har daur main ek tarana ,
Jitna tujhe dekha,
Har vaqt naya paaya,

Kabhi ithlati muskati khud par madmati..
Kabhi bhigi sahmi khamosh nazar aati..

Pal main gumsum, phir khil khila uthi,
Umeedain bikharthi phir bandhati,

Har mod pe ek nayi rah nikal aati,
Har raha pe khadi ek aarzo nazar aati,

Tu na thami na ruki na thaki,
Mujhe pakde bahon se,
Tu smatal,pathreeli,manbhati, rahon pe,
Chalti rahi..

Shades of personality..

Its been a long time I visited my scratch pad..may be I let myself have reasons or may be I did really have some..Inanycase, the quiver of thoughts had been ever swamped. This time I was almost certain I would pen down at the first available slot..So here I seat the time with me, to avoid it running out while I word the experience…

After a good talky-talky session yesterday between gang of girls J , I walked back home with even more thoughts than I had heard or spilled. It amazed me that all of us had so many things to send across and this night gave us a wonderful platform for doing the same.

It was a friend’s birthday party, after which it was decided to stay overnight n have some fun. With 3 Moms comes a good package. And each of us knew how exactly to handle it.Aki, being the youngest, slept early, more for the fact he is now in mode of sleeping early.
The other two kids( Reet n Vivan) were more like self indulgent, so didn’t need much of mamma’s intervention. While some of them were drawn to pack of cards, the chatty ladies snuggled close. There were few lingering thoughts in some of our minds, and others budded from that. So we some how sprang on the personality, self-identity, motherhood and career kind of topics. Yeah, we didn’t indulge much into gossip or MIL talks, may be we found this more inviting than the beaten ones..

We all agree self-identity is alter ego for existence, although our measure and yardsticks vary. I would not fall short of admitting, that working women have easy path here. They get benefit of mere working, to set their identify. And most of the people around do see that as only thing which makes identity for women. For women who are home-makers (wouldn’t call house wives as we all are house wives :J ) have a tougher route to not only set but maintain their identity and very few, that I know of are able to do this job well. More often than not, giving into pressing demands from all sides, being docile and trying to keep every one happy, swipes you away from your own thoughts, your inputs into situations and over a time, the boundaries begin to fade. And there are times, when most of us get up one day in horror of ‘I have lost my individuality’, or ‘I have become assumed’. SO where is that drawing line? Is revolting the way for establishing identity, is it at the cost of happy family with not having independent identiy? Each of us ofcourse had different situations back home, and different aproaches..bt the question kept lurking.. How important the independent self-identity may be to one person, and how insignificant it might be to other person..

Some where in the midst of tempest, we hit the yet another well debated, working women kids ,topic. It was good to see that few of us had stands ,strong enough, on the topic, and equally good justifications. While it does make perfect sense for one to stay back home, enjoy and nurture the kid, and the kid is ready for school, work on their career ambitions. To others, their approach of handling work, baby n home was best, where they spend god quality time with kid and did justices to their career for which they all the money n educational efforts. The viewpoints on this topic were poles apart, but we conceded on the fact the kid comes first. If you had to work at cost of your baby, being picked by friends, spending time waiting for mom in different houses, then it is not worth the effort or growth. Although, your kid going to professional day care, getting the huge exposure, learning things with other kids and finding mom available once he is done, is the best I guess a kid can get.
I am sure each of us still in heart of hearts feel, mine is the best way to do it in my situation..and that possibly is true also..this was particularly good as it did really help understand who really thinks what, and how justified you might look to her ..I do not like borrowing someone else’s impression, nor do I appreciate those who do that. And a good number of people, do love to borrow someone else’s impression of a person, cling to it, and would never give a chance to the person to show if its true or not. That is the person cares to..

If it weren’t the dawn, we would have probably explored many other topics. Knowing more about how one thinks and how you can afford to have different routes n yet appreciate the others..The last I remember I had such talks was before my marriage at my room, with my friends. we 3 roommates and other friends and ended up greeting the morning light without a nap…but that did tell a lot about individuals and then you can relate and predict to some extent how a person would think, how far and what kind of reaction he/she would actually have..stated or not..

How would it feel, if you were granted a re-live of your few early marriage years?

After 4 years of marriage and a kid, there is very little left un-understood between the partners. The way of life and routine almost sets in leaving behind little to be worked on.

Way back in India, we had a comfortable life with a maid, baby sitter, cook, car etc. We would come back from work at 6 or 9,and then spend time with our son, with parents we would take a brisk walk or just talk on how the day was, then there was dinner and in some time a good sleep.

Coming to UK was a paradigm shift.
To start with, there is no maid to walk in house early in morning and get everything in place in couple of hours, like a magic stick make it house again. So that leaves you to do dishes, laundry, cleaning and then setting things back to their respective places, which by the way, is many time more than just writing them down!!

The next big thing is there is no cook. Who you can tell what you would take for breakfast or dinner and be done with the worry of chores. So, now you realize day has 3 big meals with snacks in between and moreover deciding on what they would be everyday.

But there is one more difference in these two lives. And this is the one that makes everything else fall in place. The difference is in the partners. There is a change in the way partners think and care for each other. I do not mean they don’t care way back home- no offense.

But the life here necessitates the two work hand in glove. While on does cooking the other stands shoulder to shoulder doing dishes. When one is busy with Hoover, the other does the laundry. This involvement in making n keeping of house, unknowingly brings a new charm to the relation. Each of you so aware that the other is there for you. Each one takes equal responsibility of nourishing the relationship. You are well aware each is tired after a long day at work and both of you really look forward to doing special things/surprises for each other to pamper them in your own way.

A bunch of flowers on your way back home, a box of chocolates or special snack preparations so on n on .. fills it with all so ‘early marriage charm’ ..something that seems to have sunk under the sands of time. I mean.. there is no feeling as good as getting a cup of tea in bed on a weekend..only to make it special.
You look forward to spending some quality time together,taking off on working day once in a while,going around palces just by the two of you,short n quick coffee catch-ups..its all so much how it used to be..when – in UK terms- we were datingJ

I think everything comes with a cost.. and this cost is worth paying :) .I guess there is more than just the standard of living ,amenities or freedom that I love this place for…its takes us back to where and why we started this journey:)

My Experiments with UK

With the limited exposure that I have had with this country, there are few things that really make you think your taxes are not going to dogs.

The first visible thing you notice is there is clear and raised pedestrian area. There are proper places from where you can cross the road from. Now these like our Zebra crossing are not the directive principle which people follow if they like, nor is it that people here are extremely humanitarian and stop the car at sight of a walker. There are proper signal boxes fitted at crossing. You push the button and you would see the green light for crossing. The traffic has an obligation and not choice to stop.Importanty, they are there every 100m so you don’t have to walk lengths to get one.


Most of the time when you go around, you would have to take the baby along, if you don’t have a day care to drop him at. For some time before Aki went to day care and even now on times after office hours, I travel with Aki, alone or with Ashish for day to day stuff .Now here, due to unpredictable weather there is a concept of buggy or a stroller, as we know it. It usually comes with a foot rest , a comforter(like a seeping bag) which gets chained around the kid covering the toe to waist n hands if needed/There is a hood to avoid things falling on kid’s head and a mandatory wind sheet or rain/snow sheet. The buggy has usually very steardy handles as I pace almost all my shopping bags on them (learnt from mom’s around)

So, with this entire possible thing about the buggy, pushing it around the roads n shops is an event. Specially when you climb the road or in shop or in mall ,with all your shopping hanging on it, n god bless if you are without a partner, it could be freaking experience.Thoughfuly, the roads here at the crossing area have a yellow painted patch ,done with some different stone to avoid slipping, which merges into the road. So it gradually takes u in and out of the road. Similarly, every shop. Mall, nursery, hospital anything.. Has an entrance similar to this. You will not find a singe shop which has only stairs and no path for buggy transit.
In the trams, there are special places to stand with buggie.That has a cushion at level of your back and open area for buggy to be parked. And this place is there in every coach, so don’t have to rush to get into any specific one.

For those who travel by car, there is, like I mentioned parking on road itself. But nothing comes as free lunch. You need to take a parking ticket before you leave your vehicle on the road. Now you don’t have to run around to find where to get tickets. There are machine on the roads and directions provided on how to reach it. So pretty self managed, yet accountable. Imagine something like this happening in jayanagar nt sure if we would want to empty our pockets at one more place By the way there are road cameras to track the movement and fine receipt reaches directly to your address.

Transportation is made easy with both busses and trams running from almost every locality to the other. With a walking distance of 15 min (from my house to NHS) there are 2 tram stops. There are tram that stop rt in front of railways, so almost no walk to get into rail or tube, for those who have long journey’s to do.
At the railways or even in grocery malls, there is option to help yoursef.There are machines from which you can get you ticket, recharge your travel card or make your own billing and payment etc or if you are lazy enough, Ike me, there are traditional counters as well.


Kids are a valuable possession to this government. There are consultation charges and subsidized prescription changes for them. There are free government day cares(of course after age of 5 years).Although I have little faith in their diagnosis, more comfortable with my Indian pediatrician.Most of the times I see single moms here..And with 3-4 kids.Unlike India, where we are getting to max 2 kids, almost every 2nd person has 4 or more kids..

Almost all the services facilities are directed towards making you Zero dependency person.

But if there is some place where it hurts, specially for those who come from India or other Asian countries, is the fact the at the age of 60 ,with you barely skinned hands n legs, and in this extreme cold weather, you got to go out to get bread n butter for your daily chores. If any of our parents have to do this, we would die of shame n disgust. Am not saying they are compelled to do this or they detest this, not at all. This is how they saw their life n their parents n their expectations are set. This is where our culture sets in. With all possible shortcomings, it would never teach us to leave our parents like this to fend for themselves.

Snow snow every where, not a flake to touch

Wrapping up in India and settling here in UK has taken a good amount of my time..and now that the dust is settled..here I am back to my scratch pad.
So I am sitting on the other side of the window pane and watching these flakes of snow fall ..they seem of inviting and harmless from this window view..although the entrance for the house knows its good to stay in as of now…so lets stick to the advice. And here is Aki taking a sound nap after his first day in nursery..Though I am tempted to shake him up and share the view..but with the cold n cough he is hardly getting any proper sleep..so let him enjoy something that he needs more. And I rest my thoughts about Aki here and get back to my snowy experience..
The house oversees a road which has 4 lanes, two for driving either side and two for parking on the road.The road is run parallel by the lawns on either sides , which were green till early morning. Looks like the roads are in some hurry to prepare for the Santa visit and making a silver lining along the road.The bare and naked trees in the lawns, too are getting adorned with the peralish snow flakes.
There is harldy any human sole on road at this time..and those who are seen also don’t resemble much to humans with the long fur coats, high boots and fingers sunk in gloves, they are more like black or white polar bears . Bears of all shapes n sizes..The other row of glass windows opens to the Tram stop.Either sides of the rail has been sprinkled with salt, this would avoid the snow piling up there..Every now and then there comes a tram..gulps in all the people on the stop and moves on to its destination.. would probably have a different blog about that experience and thoughfull ness of the facilities here..
Back to to the flakes..Its all looks too gorgeous as long as you have rooms heaters to sit in and enjoy this from a distance.
Apparently this is my first ever rendezvous with flakes.. way back in india when I visited manali in December.. we missed the snowing by couple of days..so this experience is all the more engrossing and fun-filled.I think this has made up aptly for the loss.

Not so young Gen

After my office hours, I took Aki to park, a part of routine now days. Swing and slides are something that he associates with dawn now :) !

This was late yesterday and the usual mom-n-kids crowd had left for the day. There was a “herd” of kidos. Herd is true sense, given the noise and commotion they were making and each one increasing his decibel to be over the others.

I was so busy overlooking Aki, that I hardly paid any heed to their “noise” as I would call it. Till a time I heard one of them say “C’mon da he just joined a couple of months back ..which is too early to show results and deserve the Nobel prize”… huh!! Excuse me..are they talking about Obama and arguing over his deserving the Nobel prize!!

These kids in cargos and capries, so concerned about their looks and attitude -are they abreast with the developments? Ok this is not cricketing; that guys get interested may be from toddler age!! This was the current affairs.. And almost all 8-10 of them had their side of argument on it..
They talked about coming weekend,diwali plans, fast approaching board exams, skipping the swimming classes,Manmohan tripping to arunachal pradesh, their cool cycles ,racing..Almost anything and everything around..

I heard them for a while. their arguments their opinions, their ways of weighing things.. What was I doing at this age??
Mind you, they weren’t the “Elite” society kids ..Ambani or the like.....these are kids from a normal apartment that gets flooded almost every monsoon..

I was pleasantly surprised with their exposure and “not so young” mind set at young age.
They are cool , full of attitude, concerned about their appearance but as informed, if not more, as adults..The age for “innocent childhood” is fast decreasing..! necessary evil now!!